Desiderata

I have not been here for an appreciable amount of time. A lot of things have happened since I last posted, that was when I was dealing with some racial issues. Since then I have had new members added to my family, celebrated some special days, faced some heart breaks and shattered dreams. Now...I am somewhat comfortable with such, it goes without question that life is all about changes and challenges....my people have a saying..."go gola go hlogola go bona digolo ga go fele".  I found this poem that was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann.  I enjoy it a lot and I hope you will both enjoy and find some inspiration from it, a magnificent piece of writing.


Desiderata


Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.



Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.



Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.


You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.



Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

beautiful poem by Maya Agelou

Still I rise 

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.


~Maya Angelou~

This poem is so beautiful i have to share it.

FOR MY SISTAHS

In a round table discussion about whether reincarnation was really possible,
a financially struggling single woman said, " I want to come back as a rich white woman's poodle that's pampered and rides around all day in her luxury car."
A tired waitress said, " I want to come back rich and make a lot of money and be mega-super recording star."
The frustrated computer technician said, "If I can come back, I want to be the President, so I can change a lot of things about this world near and far"
I sat and thought about it. I said, " I don't know if it's possible.... but if I can..... Lord, please let me come back a Black Woman!

by Jewel Diamond Taylor

Artist:WAN 

and more beautiful poems here

Interesting poem.

I had to share this poem, I was referred to it by a friend as Africa week is celebrated in this part of this country. Hmm....USA ways in South Africa.

"Why Did God Make Me Black?"

- (Author unknown) -

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ....

Lord .... Why did you make me black?

Why did you ma ke someone

the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes,

of grimy hands and feet...

Black is the color of darkness,

of tired beaten streets...

Why did you give me thick lips,

a broad nose and kinky hair?

Why did you create someone

who receives the hated stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye

when someone gets hurt...

Black is the color of darkness,

black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick,

my hips and cheeks so high?

Why are my eyes brown,

and not the color of the sky?

Why do people think I'm useless?

How come I feel so used?

Why do people see my skin

and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand...

What is it about my skin?

Why is it some people want to hate me

and not know the person within?

Black is what people are 'Labeled'

when others want to keep them away...

Black is the color of shadows cast...

Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me,

and you know this just ain't right...

They don't like my hair, they d on't like my

skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think

it's time to make a change?

Why don't you redo creation

and make everyone the same?

GOD's Reply:

Why did I make you black?

Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal

from which beautiful diamonds are formed...

I made you in the color of oil,

the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil

that grows the food you need...

Your color is the same as the black stallion and

panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow

can be found throughout every nation...

When all these colors are blended,

you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,

such a beautiful creature is he...

I am the shepherd who watches them,

I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky,

I put star glitter in your eyes...

There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...

That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds

from the hurricanes I create in September...

I made your lips so full and thick,

so when you kiss...they will remember!

Your stature is strong,

your bone structure thick to withstand the

burden of time...

The reflection you see in the mirror,

that image that looks back,..that is MINE!

So get off your knees,

look in the mirror and tell me what you see?

I didn't make you in the image of darkness...

I made you in the image of ME! 

Energy and Happiness correlation.

Being an expert in so many things by default of being alive is a gift that should not be taken for granted. It is not really because we are alive but because mother nature has been so friendly to us. The world is dangerous, the forests are thorny, yet we survive. We know where to hang out and where not to, either because mommy said not to, you saw Kwena do the same thing and got in trouble or because of personal experience. Being forewarned is being forearmed! But you cannot question the fact that sometimes it is too easy to give into the temptation of exploring your own threads.

Anyway I want to focus on happiness today. The positive correlation between happiness and energy. Happiness is self-defined. Some people can be happy at a funeral as they choose to celebrate the time they shared with the deceased or the deceased's life as a whole. Others can be grumpy for the person not living longer and not spending 'enough' time with them. It all depends on our perspective. This is an extreme example but one can get the idea.

When one is sad it goes without question that one will also be lethargic and have no interest in doing any activity. We are  meant to be in a constant state of being. This is becoming something better or worse. We are not created to be in a static state. Being lethargic makes one resent oneself. So the more lethargic and inactive you are, the more sad you will get and this will go on in a cycle until you find a way out of it. If one does not find a way of dealing with the sadness soon enough, depression sets in and the sadness and lethargy feed each other forward. 

When one has energy, one can do more and enjoy a sense of satisfaction, satisfaction and happiness go hand in  hand. When one can go to the supermarket with ease, meet up with friends when it pleases one,  and perform at one's peak one feels happy. When one is engaged in physical activities endorphins are secreted making one feel happier. So having energy makes one happier. It is easy to dismiss the notion that walking the dog when is one sad can soothe  one. One cannot expect complete utopia but there is definitely an elevation of that which is good. 

It is important to eat well, exercise and drink coffee (if that's where your energy comes from) to keep ourselves happy or at an optimal position to reach one's goals. When I am sad I have neither energy nor interest to do my tasks. I believe this applies to many other people.  So next time let's start our day with some energetic regime. Telling oneself in the mirror that one is awesome and energetic can also tip the scale in one's favor. Positive affirmations contribute well to our well being. I have great love for Susan Jeffers, many times when I am alone I celebrate the legacy she left by repeating affirmations to myself. They do work. Not instantaneously most times but effectively.  Check out her work here  and you will also find a free book on affirmations. Whatever way we choose, being happy is a birthright we cannot afford not to have. 

To being happier and at our best ******

Being an assertive person

Some people think she is  talkative and some think she is shy. She  thinks they are both probably right depending on how much they talk and how much they know her or the kind of relationship she is  prepared  to have with them.  She usually shies away from stating her demands to some people and asserting her standards. This makes make her a kind of passive aggressive person. She tends to be rude and snap at wrong times because she bottles so much anger and do things she is  uncomfortable with. She is a walk over and she resents it.

This kind of behaviour makes an individual bitter and sets one up for a mediocre life. How can one lead a people if one cannot state one's standards? It is a duty upon us to be assertive.  To calmly and boldly say NO when we do not want to and do what we want or negotiate a compromise. Being a complete push over is a way of robbing oneself of one's own magnificence. Look at this example : Tlou gets to an event, finds a comfortable seat and hangs her coat there, then she goes to fetch some savories. When she returns a gigantic old lady has taken the seat and hung the coat on a chair under the dark projector shadow. What must she do? I bet you thought "tell her to move."

 I think sometimes our culture may make it hard to state what we want, if you are of the Pedi people, you know you will not talk back to any elder, if an elder says jump - you say how high. That is a code we live by and  it shows appreciation and respect for our elders. It supports and makes life comfortable for them.

I thik in life we assume different roles, as a woman, one is a mother, a teacher, a wife , a lawyer, a cleaner,a nurse, a daughter and a boss. Each of these roles demands different aspects of  behavior. The secret is to know where you are and behave accordingly.  Some situations may scare us away, but if more often than not we do that which is of our own interest and assert what we want , then we are better than mediocrity. Small baby steps can lead to a new confident individual with time.

Below are some benefits and steps for being assertive  

Benefits:

• Less stress
• More confident.
• Less resentful.
• A pleasure to be around.

How to be assertive:

• Set boundaries.
• Take responsibility for your own problems.
• Realize that you cannot control how other people behave.
• Start small.
• Say NO.
• Be simple and direct.
• DO NOT JUSTIFY YOUR OPINION.
• Rehearse.
• Be persistent.
• Stay cool.
• Pick your battles.

Be prepared for resistance from those who are used to you as a push over. It will take some time, hang in there and you will get used to the better you with them, if they don't like it they can go find a new doormat. 

Read more here: The art of Manliness.

To being happier and being the best *****

Laziness and Procrastination.

I have been battling with laziness and procrastinating a lot lately. I put off things to the point where I end up saying I will do them tomorrow. I set my alarm on to wake me up at the right time to set me off to complete mys tasks , but I hardly wake up at the time. I simply hit the snooze button and at the worst I just put the dumb alarm off. This has gotten so bad I hate myself sometimes and the worst sound in my life has become that of my alarm clock. If I was lazying around and enjoying it I would say "what the hell?" But I hate is so much and once I allow my brain to go into passive mode it is just so hard to snap out of it.

I read somewhere that the best thing is just to decide that you need to stop and ACTUALLY STOP.By being passive I cannot even post on my own blog. What a good slave of laziness am I! I am so faithful I cannot even do what I enjoy. I am taking off the shackles. It used to be a mall problem and I could switch back and forth but now I have chosen a lower master. Hmm...I think I am just gonna do what I have to do right away before anything else occupies my fickle mind. That way I will be the one in control.

If you got any tips on overcoming laziness, do feel free to comment.

To getting wiser and stronger....
Check out this link, great guy Mohsin has very good tips:
How to beat up procrastination for good!

Ramble Ramble

Been a while since I last posted. hectic times. My academics hatten quite demanding and I have been going throgh some draining times. I hope all my readers been have doing well. I will post interesting stuff shortly. keep warm, repeat your positive affirmations daily and be super awesome...I am very sad that my favorite author passed on: Susan Jeffers,  she lived a life worth living and she has left a fountain of beneficial stuff behind. She is in my loving memory. I watched some old music  videos by Brenda Fassie and Yvonne Chaka Chaka, gifted stars. I miss Mariam Makeba also, she was an icon and she continues to be.   I also wish Nelson Mandela good health   and peace to all good people.

Shifting mentalities.

It's amazing how shifting one's mentality can do to one's day. I am not talking about changing from some negative attitudes to positive ones. I have tried this some time but got nothing out of it. I think we should really take stock of our circumstances and be realistic.

If you are  not happy with your circumstances you have to find tools that can make it easy for you as you work on changing your circumstances. Especially if it's something like selling muffins for 3 months before you can have enough money to buy a better bed or longer and pressing situations. If you are gonna be depressed those 3 months you may not accomplish your goal.

Lately I have been lamenting about people, circumstances and everything I can put a bad label on. "These people are selfish and not helpful", "these people are just..." I even put in a few strong words to make what I am saying more heavy than it may sound without them. I have been quite a victim. I have attracted horrible people into my life, I have reduced my self-worth by seeing myself through what I think is their eyes.

These things  may be real or  not real but why do they have to make  me feel so small and worth so little. I felt lost and just drifted  through. I did not notice this until I decided to think about something I really love. I do not have this thing and at the point that I am at right now I may get it or not get it, but I can move my situation to a point where my chances of attracting are quite good. This is something I love , it resonates with my very being, it makes me happy and I want to have it for my dear self. I don't  want someone to go and get it for me. I want to make it happen.

In this way I instantly moved from a position of weakness to one of power and unending possibilities.  A position of hope and determination, a position of faith and peace. I have made a decision to hope and believe in the fulfillment of my goal. After I thought of this and felt so good I decided to write it down and affirm it to myself. The affirmation felt so good. In this particular time I feel that when I meet people I don't need them to accept  me, I am powerful, I work hard, I make things happen for myself. I may forget and be a receiver here and there . But that is not who I am . I am a giver and not a recipient, I positively contribute to people's lives. I call on the people I love to have into my life, if they respond positively, it is an opportunity for them to enjoy my companionship just as it is mine to enjoy theirs.
No party has to tolerate the other, it is mutual interest. If it is not then such a relationship is of  no use to me.
We deserve the best that life has to offer, accepting mediocrity in any sphere is a way of blocking better things, the  things we deserve.

The next time you feel down, remember to envision yourself as a giver. A person of value. This is not selflessness  It is the realization that from the time you were born the pressure in the atmosphere has been just perfect, the oxygen you breathe has been just suitable for you and the sun never refused to rest nor rise and the temperature has been good enough to sustain you too. How about the earth not refusing the growth of crops and the sustenance of your other life forms? What more can you ask nature for without giving back? You are part of how the system of life works and it works by giving.

Always be a giver and not a petitioner and the whole universe will have no choice but to dance with you.
With lots of love, I quote:

“The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It's more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted. No one is careful of his feelings or tries to keep his spirits high. He seems self-sufficient; he becomes a cushion for others. And because happiness seems unforced, that person usually gets no credit.” 
― Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

A good look at where I am

Its been quite a year , I shall not say a hectic one, but its quite challenging. Struggling to find a good place to stay, moving and working at my degree simultaneously. There is just so much going on, in my mind also. It would be a dream come true to complete my degree in one year, just started changing my plans to work on this new idea, now turning into a timely goal.

I cannot believe it is May already I feel like I have done so little, wooooh. I would love to  learn two languages this year, Arabic and another. Definitely not Afrikaans, I know hey...The books we read in high school do have a long term effect. If you would like to know why I intend not to learn Afrikaans please take a short journey through my high school read "Mine boy".

I think I  just wanna read Arabic properly, no interest in speaking it yet. The other language I wanna learn is only conversational. An acquaintance of  mine once said, " hey, you are always speaking in English it makes you appear as if you are foreigner among your people..."

I love to think she was mean but hey maybe its time I spend some time in Soweto and some townships when I go home, the people who stay here are sure multilingual. I bet ngi zo khuluma in no time, and simultaneously ndi zo thetha. Investing in my relationships with the Tsonga and Venda people will get me greeting with nda and vho macheroni in no time too.

These languages don't make the second language I wanna  learn,I would keep it a secret until I can speak it and in the mean time feel free to guess. 

Sometimes I wonder if I am ever gonna get  married, who am I gonna marry, hmm, the mind, it's keeping me enslaved at my permission. My life is not turning out the way I planned when I was under 18. I think some things have to be done, I can't afford to feel this way in my thirties lest  I get into a mid-life crisis. 

I wonder how everyone else is feeling about their lives...

To holding on and pressing harder and to living only the life we envisioned ...Lots of warm hugs to my SA readers, keep warm in this passing winter, it too shall pass. If you love winter, then whooop whoooop it's here!

A minor/Big Change

I guess I am too late to say it's a new year, but I will mention how the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013 was stressful for me. I was not sure what I was gonna do this year and everything just looked blurry. I prayed, lost hope, prayed some more, tried everything else I  I could use to see how my life would be and to prevent it from being bad. It's not easy to leave university and establish an new path especially if you have not planned for it.

My worries and attempts were put to rest when I got acceptance for a postgraduate degree. Now my life developed a twist, this is post-apartheid South Africa. Now I am even more convinced that the segregation was really bad. Can you guess where I moved to? Stellenbosch! The atmosphere here is completely different, the segregation results are still here. It is very clear where the black people, the white and the colored live and finding a place is quite hard in the suburbs when you are my race, unless you go through an agent who might just speak in Afrikaans with her colleague about her doubts that you may not afford the place. How can I blame her when it is so clear where who stays and when the complex that I am moving into is 99% white and only the security guard is of my  race.

Its quite challenging for me to stay in a place like this, even in the university I am an extreme minority. I have two good supervisors for my MSc and that makes me happy, I could not have got such good support from my beloved and horribly missed former university. I am making new friends slowly, the ones I have made seem not to fit into my pockets, I think if I invite them to my flat, they will wait till I call to tell me that they won't make it, and yes I have been through that a lot this year already.

It is very clear that growing up is a milestone, you realise new things and how to only trust your own. I learnt that good friends are really hard to find, and the people that I sometimes take for granted are the ones that can actually  bend backward for me.Some people are really here for the taking, if you don't give what they want they move to where they can get what they want. So at the end its not a loss. It is just a mismatch of interests.

The good thing is I am more knowledgeable and stronger than I was before. Better days will follow as long as I stick to my new path. To a great time in Stellenbosch! A great miss to Cape Town:(

Charity

It is amazing how I have noticed that the working  class people, the ones who labor for their supper and drink tea for breakfast are the easiest to give, they know the pain and value of sacrifice and when they give all that they have left, they know they will be hungry like the beggar, but they still give. They don't give because they have plenty where that penny comes from, but they give because it is their due.

Our duty in life is to give, to give love, money,time and other things that may be required of us. When you were born, the air was just at the right pressure for your little lungs, the water was at the right temperature at all time, your  mother's milk was at the right consistency and the earth had so much  space for you.

Why is it that we are so inclined to feel  that others owe us this much, the world owe us such and such. The next time you wanna cry go outside because nobody owes you  nothing, and all that you have is for use.

That is selflessness, you need no religion for it, and you may not like it, but you are missing out on the bliss that you could have if you lived from motivation of simplicity.

Live with the spirit of "apres vous", after you.

Try giving things you love instead of the ones you have no use for if the need arises.

I always have a choice

Sometimes I feel kike giving up on my goals, Sometimes I feel like carrying on.  I can choose to follow  the instinctive feeling or to do something else.

I always have a choice in any situation and so do you. At the end of any decision are goodies, never do we make wrong decisions, they were meant to be there, embrace the goodies with grace ad move onto the next chapter.

I choose to study, obtain my degree and look forward to whatever unfolds after this. What are you facing now? What decisions do you have to make?

Ever forward and better!

Toxic Relationships

Lately I noticed a few things from and with people around me. Mostly it happens with the ladies.
One may find oneself with a friend who only talks about herself, "I got a new hairdo", I got this Prada pair for close to nothing", " I feel so fat" , "I did this lately" , "Oh no, Lemme tell you this" , " Oh my gosh I got my car polished blah blah" . Okay if we are so comfortable around each other and these kind of statements are made, half or for some time, that is cool. But if you do the listening 95% of the time you may be bending too much, or your friend is just super stuck up and this is no healthy for a relationship. I find it annoying, how about you?

I don't know why we keep this kind of people around us, sometimes after being around your friend you have to put your head in the fridge, oh no!or just throw yourself onto  bed with a tub of ice cream. Friends are the people we choose to have around, one  better choose wise and one should know that putting up with this kind of inconsideration from other people is a bad impact on one's self esteem, and self esteem is like a muscle, it is only good if it is active. One has a high self esteem when one can disengage from unhealthy associations and go for only gold, putting up with what does not work for you is like you are saying " I doubt I deserve any better", "no one will want to hang out with me, at least she does" and you will feel horrible- period!

There are all sorts of bad associations and signs of them, I got one sentence for all of our associations " If it's not building you up, It's breaking you down"

Check these out:
You feel drained.  A toxic friendship is emotionally draining because the relationship is essentially unequal: the person takes from you, but never gives back. They may be the unabashedly self-absorbed type who talks endlessly about how great their life is but never wastes two words to inquire about yours. Or, they might be the Debbie Downer sort of emotional vampire who you can count on to suck the fun out of every good time with their perpetual “woe is me” act.

They’re reliably unreliable. Toxic friends seem to make a habit of saying one thing and doing another. Whether they out-and-out lie or they just don’t respect commitments, the frenemy is chronically two-faced and flakey.

They undermine your other relationships. Since they’re scared to death that you’ll eventually dump them and stop giving them the one-sided attention they so desperately crave, a toxic friend will usually try to undermine your other relationship.

   Do you feel emotionally drained when you are with her?
  Do you come away from her feeling depressed?
  When you talk, does it feel like she isn't listening or just doesn't get it?
  Do you dread her phone calls?
  Do you hate when you see her screen name online when you look at your buddy list?
  Are her emails too long to read?
  Does she always choose to spend her time with men, over you, given the opportunity?

The people may have lovely qualities also, and one wouldn't wanna lose out on that. So it might be good to confront your friends about how you feel and if it does not work, I got a better way: RUN AWAY, DON'T WALK REALLY, RUN! The longer you linger the harder it is to break away. And if one keeps one person like this in one's life it is gonna be easy to let someone else do it also, then one ends up with a bunch of toxic friends, you may end up with a loser of a boyfriend too, because you are setting yourself up as a walkover.

Reclaim your power and be all for yourself,
if you don't support your own  party,
 how do you expect us to?

Sometimes you have to stick it out.

I have been very mean and uncaring to myself. After a few bad choices in my life and taking wrong turns I am back to my reality, I gotta face it head on. I  decided this  after a bad cold put me down to bed  and a bad medication kept me awake throughout the demise of a viral infection. I blamed God, my religion, my friends, and that guy also, every possible thing  that seemed to be in the way of my hedonistic pleasure. I guess if I keep going like this I am just gonna spiral into the same hole of self-pity.

Well now I better focus on completing all the projects I have launched  and getting more involved with my life, I have been a spectator long enough. I feel like crying, this life of moping and doing nothing but blaming circumstances has become my comfort zone, I think I need a support group or buddy to keep me focused. I think I should have put this in my journal, but hey, I am real and my life is made of valleys and hills, come face it with me.

"sometimes you gotta sit and face the terrible emptiness within that surfaces when you are not focused  on someone else. Sometimes the emptiness will be so deep, you will feel the wind blowing through the place  where  your heart should  be. Allow yourself to feel it, in all its intensity or else you may look for another way to distract yourself" a bit  modified from Robin Norwood., Women who love too much.

The power of prayer and solitude

Nothing can surpass the power of meditation, prayer and pondering. Don't get me wrong, asking for things in prayer is not gonna bring you peace. It will just shift your focus if you do it continuously.

That time you spend in solitude focusing on a higher being, affirming your inner power brings peace that surpasses human understanding. You walk away with revived energy, acceptance and a sense of focused energy. I urge you to take some time out and embrace the peace that you already have.

The people in our lives.

We all have someone we know.
Someone we identify with on many things.
Someone we barely get along with.
Someone full of all sorts of surprises.
 We live in communities, we are around and surrounded by others.
Sometimes we wish to have new people in our lives, sometimes we do change our social circles for good or for bad. Sometimes we just extend them, or cut them down.

No matter who you have around you, people come and go in our lives, leaving scars or nothing.
Some people come into our lives in strange ways and leave in funny ways, others come because we want them, while others come for what is seemingly no reason, you  may wish you never met them, wish to keep them for long, but they are there for a reason. Not because you need them there but maybe because they need you in their lives. You are only as great as the hearts you touch, the lives you nurture, the memories you leave in the hearts of those whom you love or those who love you.

Sometimes you are good to others and they may never appreciate you, but the main thing we all need is to be recommendable among our peers and families. That is all we need, all other things come afterwards.

Be the person you want to be around. Forgive for your own good and let any bad feeling for your fellows go.

Distance and a friend

What a day! Friend got a good job,leaving sooner than I can imagine to start a completely new life, I miss him already! I am  very proud of him, but I cannot shake the feeling of loss. With time I will accept the reality, its a good thing he is moving out to his independence,to unleash his potential and explore new horizons. He will always be my friend, close to my heart and we can always be in touch.

The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Southern Mail, 1929, translated from French by Curtis Cate

Slamat Yush

A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably.  ~William Pennhis 

The above quote sums up our friendship. It was short, we have good memories, going out for a Krusher, him chasing me out of his room, me slapping him, him running after me, telling him he is the worst, my knocking on his door just to see him come out with that angry face, his defending me from some mean people, walking with me to get supper, sharing fish from Durban, loving my spaghetti masala, crying on my shoulder, sharing success, oh I feel so sad.

A good friend is a treasure, hold on to those, pray for them and wish them well at all times.

This is my last gift to both my friend and myself.

Response to Pain

When someone hurts you, you wanna cry? No,  don't just cry , do it with grace , for yourself not for the person that hurt you. Get a notepad and write all the things causing you pain, take it all out, all of it! You may wanna write the person a letter, do it! When you are done clip it to your diary. People who ravish at your pain are completely abnormal, you may wanna read about psychopaths for your protection. I will be putting up some links shortly, being forewarned is being forearmed!

Till next time....with lots of warm feelings....


Women do run the world you know...I run mine :)

The Grace Of Forgiveness

Forgiveness.

As a human being, when one gets hurts it is inevitable to want to fight back, when one is betrayed one thinks about filing a breach of contract case, when someone hurts us intentionally we naturally want to banish them out of our lives, and that is sensible.

We spend hours and lots of money fighting back our enemies, sometimes to even spite them. We spend a lot of time plotting revenge. When we think about how much we are hurt ,  we revisit the wound they have left on us, every time you go to avenge someone you open that wound, you feel the exact pain you felt when the enemy inflicted it. We tend to think that the enemy is happier, and gloating over us. It is not always true, of course some people are psychopaths and they ravish our pain, but till a psychopath is an abnormal person and he/she cannot change whatever you do.

We may as well spend that time on ourselves. Say a little prayer for them and indulge in your simplest pleasures, close the wound and allow it to heal.

Walking away may help. That may help you forget about the pain as you focus on other things. Do some meditation, if you cannot walk away try focusing on something positive about them and focus on yourself.

Look after yourselves***

R