It is amazing how I have noticed that the working class people, the ones who labor for their supper and drink tea for breakfast are the easiest to give, they know the pain and value of sacrifice and when they give all that they have left, they know they will be hungry like the beggar, but they still give. They don't give because they have plenty where that penny comes from, but they give because it is their due.
Our duty in life is to give, to give love, money,time and other things that may be required of us. When you were born, the air was just at the right pressure for your little lungs, the water was at the right temperature at all time, your mother's milk was at the right consistency and the earth had so much space for you.
Why is it that we are so inclined to feel that others owe us this much, the world owe us such and such. The next time you wanna cry go outside because nobody owes you nothing, and all that you have is for use.
That is selflessness, you need no religion for it, and you may not like it, but you are missing out on the bliss that you could have if you lived from motivation of simplicity.
Live with the spirit of "apres vous", after you.
Try giving things you love instead of the ones you have no use for if the need arises.
Sunday 14 October 2012
Friday 5 October 2012
I always have a choice
Sometimes I feel kike giving up on my goals, Sometimes I feel like carrying on. I can choose to follow the instinctive feeling or to do something else.
I always have a choice in any situation and so do you. At the end of any decision are goodies, never do we make wrong decisions, they were meant to be there, embrace the goodies with grace ad move onto the next chapter.
I choose to study, obtain my degree and look forward to whatever unfolds after this. What are you facing now? What decisions do you have to make?
Ever forward and better!
I always have a choice in any situation and so do you. At the end of any decision are goodies, never do we make wrong decisions, they were meant to be there, embrace the goodies with grace ad move onto the next chapter.
I choose to study, obtain my degree and look forward to whatever unfolds after this. What are you facing now? What decisions do you have to make?
Ever forward and better!
Monday 24 September 2012
Toxic Relationships
Lately I noticed a few things from and with people around me. Mostly it happens with the ladies.
One may find oneself with a friend who only talks about herself, "I got a new hairdo", I got this Prada pair for close to nothing", " I feel so fat" , "I did this lately" , "Oh no, Lemme tell you this" , " Oh my gosh I got my car polished blah blah" . Okay if we are so comfortable around each other and these kind of statements are made, half or for some time, that is cool. But if you do the listening 95% of the time you may be bending too much, or your friend is just super stuck up and this is no healthy for a relationship. I find it annoying, how about you?
I don't know why we keep this kind of people around us, sometimes after being around your friend you have to put your head in the fridge, oh no!or just throw yourself onto bed with a tub of ice cream. Friends are the people we choose to have around, one better choose wise and one should know that putting up with this kind of inconsideration from other people is a bad impact on one's self esteem, and self esteem is like a muscle, it is only good if it is active. One has a high self esteem when one can disengage from unhealthy associations and go for only gold, putting up with what does not work for you is like you are saying " I doubt I deserve any better", "no one will want to hang out with me, at least she does" and you will feel horrible- period!
There are all sorts of bad associations and signs of them, I got one sentence for all of our associations " If it's not building you up, It's breaking you down"
Check these out:
You feel drained. A toxic friendship is emotionally draining because the relationship is essentially unequal: the person takes from you, but never gives back. They may be the unabashedly self-absorbed type who talks endlessly about how great their life is but never wastes two words to inquire about yours. Or, they might be the Debbie Downer sort of emotional vampire who you can count on to suck the fun out of every good time with their perpetual “woe is me” act.
They’re reliably unreliable. Toxic friends seem to make a habit of saying one thing and doing another. Whether they out-and-out lie or they just don’t respect commitments, the frenemy is chronically two-faced and flakey.
They undermine your other relationships. Since they’re scared to death that you’ll eventually dump them and stop giving them the one-sided attention they so desperately crave, a toxic friend will usually try to undermine your other relationship.
Do you feel emotionally drained when you are with her?
Do you come away from her feeling depressed?
When you talk, does it feel like she isn't listening or just doesn't get it?
Do you dread her phone calls?
Do you hate when you see her screen name online when you look at your buddy list?
Are her emails too long to read?
Does she always choose to spend her time with men, over you, given the opportunity?
The people may have lovely qualities also, and one wouldn't wanna lose out on that. So it might be good to confront your friends about how you feel and if it does not work, I got a better way: RUN AWAY, DON'T WALK REALLY, RUN! The longer you linger the harder it is to break away. And if one keeps one person like this in one's life it is gonna be easy to let someone else do it also, then one ends up with a bunch of toxic friends, you may end up with a loser of a boyfriend too, because you are setting yourself up as a walkover.
Reclaim your power and be all for yourself,
if you don't support your own party,
how do you expect us to?
One may find oneself with a friend who only talks about herself, "I got a new hairdo", I got this Prada pair for close to nothing", " I feel so fat" , "I did this lately" , "Oh no, Lemme tell you this" , " Oh my gosh I got my car polished blah blah" . Okay if we are so comfortable around each other and these kind of statements are made, half or for some time, that is cool. But if you do the listening 95% of the time you may be bending too much, or your friend is just super stuck up and this is no healthy for a relationship. I find it annoying, how about you?
I don't know why we keep this kind of people around us, sometimes after being around your friend you have to put your head in the fridge, oh no!or just throw yourself onto bed with a tub of ice cream. Friends are the people we choose to have around, one better choose wise and one should know that putting up with this kind of inconsideration from other people is a bad impact on one's self esteem, and self esteem is like a muscle, it is only good if it is active. One has a high self esteem when one can disengage from unhealthy associations and go for only gold, putting up with what does not work for you is like you are saying " I doubt I deserve any better", "no one will want to hang out with me, at least she does" and you will feel horrible- period!
There are all sorts of bad associations and signs of them, I got one sentence for all of our associations " If it's not building you up, It's breaking you down"
Check these out:
You feel drained. A toxic friendship is emotionally draining because the relationship is essentially unequal: the person takes from you, but never gives back. They may be the unabashedly self-absorbed type who talks endlessly about how great their life is but never wastes two words to inquire about yours. Or, they might be the Debbie Downer sort of emotional vampire who you can count on to suck the fun out of every good time with their perpetual “woe is me” act.
They’re reliably unreliable. Toxic friends seem to make a habit of saying one thing and doing another. Whether they out-and-out lie or they just don’t respect commitments, the frenemy is chronically two-faced and flakey.
They undermine your other relationships. Since they’re scared to death that you’ll eventually dump them and stop giving them the one-sided attention they so desperately crave, a toxic friend will usually try to undermine your other relationship.
Do you feel emotionally drained when you are with her?
Do you come away from her feeling depressed?
When you talk, does it feel like she isn't listening or just doesn't get it?
Do you dread her phone calls?
Do you hate when you see her screen name online when you look at your buddy list?
Are her emails too long to read?
Does she always choose to spend her time with men, over you, given the opportunity?
The people may have lovely qualities also, and one wouldn't wanna lose out on that. So it might be good to confront your friends about how you feel and if it does not work, I got a better way: RUN AWAY, DON'T WALK REALLY, RUN! The longer you linger the harder it is to break away. And if one keeps one person like this in one's life it is gonna be easy to let someone else do it also, then one ends up with a bunch of toxic friends, you may end up with a loser of a boyfriend too, because you are setting yourself up as a walkover.
Reclaim your power and be all for yourself,
if you don't support your own party,
how do you expect us to?
Wednesday 1 August 2012
Sometimes you have to stick it out.
Well now I better focus on completing all the projects I have launched and getting more involved with my life, I have been a spectator long enough. I feel like crying, this life of moping and doing nothing but blaming circumstances has become my comfort zone, I think I need a support group or buddy to keep me focused. I think I should have put this in my journal, but hey, I am real and my life is made of valleys and hills, come face it with me.
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"sometimes you gotta sit and face the terrible emptiness within that surfaces when you are not focused on someone else. Sometimes the emptiness will be so deep, you will feel the wind blowing through the place where your heart should be. Allow yourself to feel it, in all its intensity or else you may look for another way to distract yourself" a bit modified from Robin Norwood., Women who love too much.
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Sunday 24 June 2012
The power of prayer and solitude
Nothing can surpass the power of meditation, prayer and pondering. Don't get me wrong, asking for things in prayer is not gonna bring you peace. It will just shift your focus if you do it continuously.
That time you spend in solitude focusing on a higher being, affirming your inner power brings peace that surpasses human understanding. You walk away with revived energy, acceptance and a sense of focused energy. I urge you to take some time out and embrace the peace that you already have.
That time you spend in solitude focusing on a higher being, affirming your inner power brings peace that surpasses human understanding. You walk away with revived energy, acceptance and a sense of focused energy. I urge you to take some time out and embrace the peace that you already have.
The people in our lives.
We all have someone we know.
Someone we identify with on many things.
Someone we barely get along with.
Someone full of all sorts of surprises.
We live in communities, we are around and surrounded by others.
Sometimes we wish to have new people in our lives, sometimes we do change our social circles for good or for bad. Sometimes we just extend them, or cut them down.
No matter who you have around you, people come and go in our lives, leaving scars or nothing.
Some people come into our lives in strange ways and leave in funny ways, others come because we want them, while others come for what is seemingly no reason, you may wish you never met them, wish to keep them for long, but they are there for a reason. Not because you need them there but maybe because they need you in their lives. You are only as great as the hearts you touch, the lives you nurture, the memories you leave in the hearts of those whom you love or those who love you.
Sometimes you are good to others and they may never appreciate you, but the main thing we all need is to be recommendable among our peers and families. That is all we need, all other things come afterwards.
Be the person you want to be around. Forgive for your own good and let any bad feeling for your fellows go.
Someone we identify with on many things.
Someone we barely get along with.
Someone full of all sorts of surprises.
We live in communities, we are around and surrounded by others.
Sometimes we wish to have new people in our lives, sometimes we do change our social circles for good or for bad. Sometimes we just extend them, or cut them down.
No matter who you have around you, people come and go in our lives, leaving scars or nothing.
Some people come into our lives in strange ways and leave in funny ways, others come because we want them, while others come for what is seemingly no reason, you may wish you never met them, wish to keep them for long, but they are there for a reason. Not because you need them there but maybe because they need you in their lives. You are only as great as the hearts you touch, the lives you nurture, the memories you leave in the hearts of those whom you love or those who love you.
Sometimes you are good to others and they may never appreciate you, but the main thing we all need is to be recommendable among our peers and families. That is all we need, all other things come afterwards.
Be the person you want to be around. Forgive for your own good and let any bad feeling for your fellows go.
Monday 21 May 2012
Distance and a friend
What a day! Friend got a good job,leaving sooner than I can imagine to start a completely new life, I miss him already! I am very proud of him, but I cannot shake the feeling of loss. With time I will accept the reality, its a good thing he is moving out to his independence,to unleash his potential and explore new horizons. He will always be my friend, close to my heart and we can always be in touch.
The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Southern Mail, 1929, translated from French by Curtis Cate
The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Southern Mail, 1929, translated from French by Curtis Cate
Slamat Yush
A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably. ~William Pennhis
The above quote sums up our friendship. It was short, we have good memories, going out for a Krusher, him chasing me out of his room, me slapping him, him running after me, telling him he is the worst, my knocking on his door just to see him come out with that angry face, his defending me from some mean people, walking with me to get supper, sharing fish from Durban, loving my spaghetti masala, crying on my shoulder, sharing success, oh I feel so sad.
A good friend is a treasure, hold on to those, pray for them and wish them well at all times.
This is my last gift to both my friend and myself.
Sunday 20 May 2012
Response to Pain
When someone hurts you, you wanna cry? No, don't just cry , do it with grace , for yourself not for the person that hurt you. Get a notepad and write all the things causing you pain, take it all out, all of it! You may wanna write the person a letter, do it! When you are done clip it to your diary. People who ravish at your pain are completely abnormal, you may wanna read about psychopaths for your protection. I will be putting up some links shortly, being forewarned is being forearmed!
Till next time....with lots of warm feelings....
Women do run the world you know...I run mine :)
Till next time....with lots of warm feelings....
Women do run the world you know...I run mine :)
Thursday 17 May 2012
The Grace Of Forgiveness
Forgiveness.
As a human being, when one gets hurts it is inevitable to want to fight back, when one is betrayed one thinks about filing a breach of contract case, when someone hurts us intentionally we naturally want to banish them out of our lives, and that is sensible.
We spend hours and lots of money fighting back our enemies, sometimes to even spite them. We spend a lot of time plotting revenge. When we think about how much we are hurt , we revisit the wound they have left on us, every time you go to avenge someone you open that wound, you feel the exact pain you felt when the enemy inflicted it. We tend to think that the enemy is happier, and gloating over us. It is not always true, of course some people are psychopaths and they ravish our pain, but till a psychopath is an abnormal person and he/she cannot change whatever you do.
We may as well spend that time on ourselves. Say a little prayer for them and indulge in your simplest pleasures, close the wound and allow it to heal.
Walking away may help. That may help you forget about the pain as you focus on other things. Do some meditation, if you cannot walk away try focusing on something positive about them and focus on yourself.
Look after yourselves***
R
Wednesday 16 May 2012
Do things with ME in mind
Whatever you do because or for someone else, think twice about it. For whose sake are you doing it? What is your benefit now? benefit in the long term? What are the chances that you may end up being hurt? If you are in touch with your inner self and any of the answers you give feel wrong, Stop and do something different.
The secret of life is keep moving, whatever it is-keep moving. Doing the same thing that fail you over and over again is not moving, it is a terrible habit. Watching TV is not moving, unless you are getting something out of it. You gotta increase your good. Life is tough, and sometimes you gotta swim against the current, but who knows a dolphin might carry you along the deeper you go. Believe that you are strong, and indeed you are, so you will make it God willing.
To embracing inner power and inherent strength*****
R
The secret of life is keep moving, whatever it is-keep moving. Doing the same thing that fail you over and over again is not moving, it is a terrible habit. Watching TV is not moving, unless you are getting something out of it. You gotta increase your good. Life is tough, and sometimes you gotta swim against the current, but who knows a dolphin might carry you along the deeper you go. Believe that you are strong, and indeed you are, so you will make it God willing.
To embracing inner power and inherent strength*****
R
Monday 14 May 2012
Sometime We Gotta Let Go
I learnt something I wanna share with all of you today. Sometimes life does not go as you plan it, it may seem as if it is going wrong at the moment.Accept that. Sometimes you may be amazed at how miraculous things turn out. Accept that. You may plan to be a nurse and end up marrying a king to be a housewife in style, with 4 princes and 4 princesses. That is what is meant for you. An extent of our lives is under our control, while an extent is not. It is the acceptance of this amazing balance that makes one's life worthwhile. Your past is beyond your control, your future is beyond your control. If you spend the only moment you have under control fearing the future and regretting or worrying about the past you will miss out on your own life - period! You only have the present moment in control. Take advantage of it, cherish it, work on your goals, dream large, forgive your enemies, eat the best food, take such good care of yourself, spend time with your loved one. Be at peace and relish your blessings. Sometimes you need to hit the wall to notice that that there are obstacles in every path of life, sometimes you need to be hurt to notice that only God is worth your full trust, sometimes you need to lose your wallet to notice that you need to be careful with your investment funds. We just need to look hard into these experiences to get what we want, if you cannot see the lesson now, believe that there must be a reason for your situation and one day it will show up. If you believe in a Higher Power then you know that the trees are here for your relish, the shade is here for your protection, the ocean flows for your appreciation, the birds sing for your pleasure and everything good is meant for you. If anything bad happens you know it was NOT meant for your permanence, you are here for a good course and a good ride, if your ride breaks fix it quick! and carry on. The mud is not meant for you, but bliss and peace, all the good that you can suck out of life , suck them all, if you suck enough share with your companions.
To the good life that is rightly yours and more**
R
Monday 23 January 2012
To the new year
It has been a long time I admit. I was busy with varsity, vacation job, family and friends, partying and fixing here and there. There has been quite a lot going on in my life lately, my spiritual, academic and personal life all included.But now I am back.
I have been consumed in so much inactivity I do not even have a single new year resolution written down. As a first step out of this inactivity I think I need to shed off the extra weight I have been putting on.
I just hope we are all doing well.
R*
I have been consumed in so much inactivity I do not even have a single new year resolution written down. As a first step out of this inactivity I think I need to shed off the extra weight I have been putting on.
I just hope we are all doing well.
R*
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