beautiful poem by Maya Agelou

Still I rise 

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.


~Maya Angelou~

This poem is so beautiful i have to share it.

FOR MY SISTAHS

In a round table discussion about whether reincarnation was really possible,
a financially struggling single woman said, " I want to come back as a rich white woman's poodle that's pampered and rides around all day in her luxury car."
A tired waitress said, " I want to come back rich and make a lot of money and be mega-super recording star."
The frustrated computer technician said, "If I can come back, I want to be the President, so I can change a lot of things about this world near and far"
I sat and thought about it. I said, " I don't know if it's possible.... but if I can..... Lord, please let me come back a Black Woman!

by Jewel Diamond Taylor

Artist:WAN 

and more beautiful poems here

Interesting poem.

I had to share this poem, I was referred to it by a friend as Africa week is celebrated in this part of this country. Hmm....USA ways in South Africa.

"Why Did God Make Me Black?"

- (Author unknown) -

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ....

Lord .... Why did you make me black?

Why did you ma ke someone

the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes,

of grimy hands and feet...

Black is the color of darkness,

of tired beaten streets...

Why did you give me thick lips,

a broad nose and kinky hair?

Why did you create someone

who receives the hated stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye

when someone gets hurt...

Black is the color of darkness,

black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick,

my hips and cheeks so high?

Why are my eyes brown,

and not the color of the sky?

Why do people think I'm useless?

How come I feel so used?

Why do people see my skin

and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand...

What is it about my skin?

Why is it some people want to hate me

and not know the person within?

Black is what people are 'Labeled'

when others want to keep them away...

Black is the color of shadows cast...

Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me,

and you know this just ain't right...

They don't like my hair, they d on't like my

skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think

it's time to make a change?

Why don't you redo creation

and make everyone the same?

GOD's Reply:

Why did I make you black?

Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal

from which beautiful diamonds are formed...

I made you in the color of oil,

the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil

that grows the food you need...

Your color is the same as the black stallion and

panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow

can be found throughout every nation...

When all these colors are blended,

you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,

such a beautiful creature is he...

I am the shepherd who watches them,

I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky,

I put star glitter in your eyes...

There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...

That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds

from the hurricanes I create in September...

I made your lips so full and thick,

so when you kiss...they will remember!

Your stature is strong,

your bone structure thick to withstand the

burden of time...

The reflection you see in the mirror,

that image that looks back,..that is MINE!

So get off your knees,

look in the mirror and tell me what you see?

I didn't make you in the image of darkness...

I made you in the image of ME! 

Energy and Happiness correlation.

Being an expert in so many things by default of being alive is a gift that should not be taken for granted. It is not really because we are alive but because mother nature has been so friendly to us. The world is dangerous, the forests are thorny, yet we survive. We know where to hang out and where not to, either because mommy said not to, you saw Kwena do the same thing and got in trouble or because of personal experience. Being forewarned is being forearmed! But you cannot question the fact that sometimes it is too easy to give into the temptation of exploring your own threads.

Anyway I want to focus on happiness today. The positive correlation between happiness and energy. Happiness is self-defined. Some people can be happy at a funeral as they choose to celebrate the time they shared with the deceased or the deceased's life as a whole. Others can be grumpy for the person not living longer and not spending 'enough' time with them. It all depends on our perspective. This is an extreme example but one can get the idea.

When one is sad it goes without question that one will also be lethargic and have no interest in doing any activity. We are  meant to be in a constant state of being. This is becoming something better or worse. We are not created to be in a static state. Being lethargic makes one resent oneself. So the more lethargic and inactive you are, the more sad you will get and this will go on in a cycle until you find a way out of it. If one does not find a way of dealing with the sadness soon enough, depression sets in and the sadness and lethargy feed each other forward. 

When one has energy, one can do more and enjoy a sense of satisfaction, satisfaction and happiness go hand in  hand. When one can go to the supermarket with ease, meet up with friends when it pleases one,  and perform at one's peak one feels happy. When one is engaged in physical activities endorphins are secreted making one feel happier. So having energy makes one happier. It is easy to dismiss the notion that walking the dog when is one sad can soothe  one. One cannot expect complete utopia but there is definitely an elevation of that which is good. 

It is important to eat well, exercise and drink coffee (if that's where your energy comes from) to keep ourselves happy or at an optimal position to reach one's goals. When I am sad I have neither energy nor interest to do my tasks. I believe this applies to many other people.  So next time let's start our day with some energetic regime. Telling oneself in the mirror that one is awesome and energetic can also tip the scale in one's favor. Positive affirmations contribute well to our well being. I have great love for Susan Jeffers, many times when I am alone I celebrate the legacy she left by repeating affirmations to myself. They do work. Not instantaneously most times but effectively.  Check out her work here  and you will also find a free book on affirmations. Whatever way we choose, being happy is a birthright we cannot afford not to have. 

To being happier and at our best ******

Being an assertive person

Some people think she is  talkative and some think she is shy. She  thinks they are both probably right depending on how much they talk and how much they know her or the kind of relationship she is  prepared  to have with them.  She usually shies away from stating her demands to some people and asserting her standards. This makes make her a kind of passive aggressive person. She tends to be rude and snap at wrong times because she bottles so much anger and do things she is  uncomfortable with. She is a walk over and she resents it.

This kind of behaviour makes an individual bitter and sets one up for a mediocre life. How can one lead a people if one cannot state one's standards? It is a duty upon us to be assertive.  To calmly and boldly say NO when we do not want to and do what we want or negotiate a compromise. Being a complete push over is a way of robbing oneself of one's own magnificence. Look at this example : Tlou gets to an event, finds a comfortable seat and hangs her coat there, then she goes to fetch some savories. When she returns a gigantic old lady has taken the seat and hung the coat on a chair under the dark projector shadow. What must she do? I bet you thought "tell her to move."

 I think sometimes our culture may make it hard to state what we want, if you are of the Pedi people, you know you will not talk back to any elder, if an elder says jump - you say how high. That is a code we live by and  it shows appreciation and respect for our elders. It supports and makes life comfortable for them.

I thik in life we assume different roles, as a woman, one is a mother, a teacher, a wife , a lawyer, a cleaner,a nurse, a daughter and a boss. Each of these roles demands different aspects of  behavior. The secret is to know where you are and behave accordingly.  Some situations may scare us away, but if more often than not we do that which is of our own interest and assert what we want , then we are better than mediocrity. Small baby steps can lead to a new confident individual with time.

Below are some benefits and steps for being assertive  

Benefits:

• Less stress
• More confident.
• Less resentful.
• A pleasure to be around.

How to be assertive:

• Set boundaries.
• Take responsibility for your own problems.
• Realize that you cannot control how other people behave.
• Start small.
• Say NO.
• Be simple and direct.
• DO NOT JUSTIFY YOUR OPINION.
• Rehearse.
• Be persistent.
• Stay cool.
• Pick your battles.

Be prepared for resistance from those who are used to you as a push over. It will take some time, hang in there and you will get used to the better you with them, if they don't like it they can go find a new doormat. 

Read more here: The art of Manliness.

To being happier and being the best *****

Laziness and Procrastination.

I have been battling with laziness and procrastinating a lot lately. I put off things to the point where I end up saying I will do them tomorrow. I set my alarm on to wake me up at the right time to set me off to complete mys tasks , but I hardly wake up at the time. I simply hit the snooze button and at the worst I just put the dumb alarm off. This has gotten so bad I hate myself sometimes and the worst sound in my life has become that of my alarm clock. If I was lazying around and enjoying it I would say "what the hell?" But I hate is so much and once I allow my brain to go into passive mode it is just so hard to snap out of it.

I read somewhere that the best thing is just to decide that you need to stop and ACTUALLY STOP.By being passive I cannot even post on my own blog. What a good slave of laziness am I! I am so faithful I cannot even do what I enjoy. I am taking off the shackles. It used to be a mall problem and I could switch back and forth but now I have chosen a lower master. Hmm...I think I am just gonna do what I have to do right away before anything else occupies my fickle mind. That way I will be the one in control.

If you got any tips on overcoming laziness, do feel free to comment.

To getting wiser and stronger....
Check out this link, great guy Mohsin has very good tips:
How to beat up procrastination for good!

Ramble Ramble

Been a while since I last posted. hectic times. My academics hatten quite demanding and I have been going throgh some draining times. I hope all my readers been have doing well. I will post interesting stuff shortly. keep warm, repeat your positive affirmations daily and be super awesome...I am very sad that my favorite author passed on: Susan Jeffers,  she lived a life worth living and she has left a fountain of beneficial stuff behind. She is in my loving memory. I watched some old music  videos by Brenda Fassie and Yvonne Chaka Chaka, gifted stars. I miss Mariam Makeba also, she was an icon and she continues to be.   I also wish Nelson Mandela good health   and peace to all good people.

Shifting mentalities.

It's amazing how shifting one's mentality can do to one's day. I am not talking about changing from some negative attitudes to positive ones. I have tried this some time but got nothing out of it. I think we should really take stock of our circumstances and be realistic.

If you are  not happy with your circumstances you have to find tools that can make it easy for you as you work on changing your circumstances. Especially if it's something like selling muffins for 3 months before you can have enough money to buy a better bed or longer and pressing situations. If you are gonna be depressed those 3 months you may not accomplish your goal.

Lately I have been lamenting about people, circumstances and everything I can put a bad label on. "These people are selfish and not helpful", "these people are just..." I even put in a few strong words to make what I am saying more heavy than it may sound without them. I have been quite a victim. I have attracted horrible people into my life, I have reduced my self-worth by seeing myself through what I think is their eyes.

These things  may be real or  not real but why do they have to make  me feel so small and worth so little. I felt lost and just drifted  through. I did not notice this until I decided to think about something I really love. I do not have this thing and at the point that I am at right now I may get it or not get it, but I can move my situation to a point where my chances of attracting are quite good. This is something I love , it resonates with my very being, it makes me happy and I want to have it for my dear self. I don't  want someone to go and get it for me. I want to make it happen.

In this way I instantly moved from a position of weakness to one of power and unending possibilities.  A position of hope and determination, a position of faith and peace. I have made a decision to hope and believe in the fulfillment of my goal. After I thought of this and felt so good I decided to write it down and affirm it to myself. The affirmation felt so good. In this particular time I feel that when I meet people I don't need them to accept  me, I am powerful, I work hard, I make things happen for myself. I may forget and be a receiver here and there . But that is not who I am . I am a giver and not a recipient, I positively contribute to people's lives. I call on the people I love to have into my life, if they respond positively, it is an opportunity for them to enjoy my companionship just as it is mine to enjoy theirs.
No party has to tolerate the other, it is mutual interest. If it is not then such a relationship is of  no use to me.
We deserve the best that life has to offer, accepting mediocrity in any sphere is a way of blocking better things, the  things we deserve.

The next time you feel down, remember to envision yourself as a giver. A person of value. This is not selflessness  It is the realization that from the time you were born the pressure in the atmosphere has been just perfect, the oxygen you breathe has been just suitable for you and the sun never refused to rest nor rise and the temperature has been good enough to sustain you too. How about the earth not refusing the growth of crops and the sustenance of your other life forms? What more can you ask nature for without giving back? You are part of how the system of life works and it works by giving.

Always be a giver and not a petitioner and the whole universe will have no choice but to dance with you.
With lots of love, I quote:

“The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It's more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted. No one is careful of his feelings or tries to keep his spirits high. He seems self-sufficient; he becomes a cushion for others. And because happiness seems unforced, that person usually gets no credit.” 
― Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

A good look at where I am

Its been quite a year , I shall not say a hectic one, but its quite challenging. Struggling to find a good place to stay, moving and working at my degree simultaneously. There is just so much going on, in my mind also. It would be a dream come true to complete my degree in one year, just started changing my plans to work on this new idea, now turning into a timely goal.

I cannot believe it is May already I feel like I have done so little, wooooh. I would love to  learn two languages this year, Arabic and another. Definitely not Afrikaans, I know hey...The books we read in high school do have a long term effect. If you would like to know why I intend not to learn Afrikaans please take a short journey through my high school read "Mine boy".

I think I  just wanna read Arabic properly, no interest in speaking it yet. The other language I wanna learn is only conversational. An acquaintance of  mine once said, " hey, you are always speaking in English it makes you appear as if you are foreigner among your people..."

I love to think she was mean but hey maybe its time I spend some time in Soweto and some townships when I go home, the people who stay here are sure multilingual. I bet ngi zo khuluma in no time, and simultaneously ndi zo thetha. Investing in my relationships with the Tsonga and Venda people will get me greeting with nda and vho macheroni in no time too.

These languages don't make the second language I wanna  learn,I would keep it a secret until I can speak it and in the mean time feel free to guess. 

Sometimes I wonder if I am ever gonna get  married, who am I gonna marry, hmm, the mind, it's keeping me enslaved at my permission. My life is not turning out the way I planned when I was under 18. I think some things have to be done, I can't afford to feel this way in my thirties lest  I get into a mid-life crisis. 

I wonder how everyone else is feeling about their lives...

To holding on and pressing harder and to living only the life we envisioned ...Lots of warm hugs to my SA readers, keep warm in this passing winter, it too shall pass. If you love winter, then whooop whoooop it's here!

A minor/Big Change

I guess I am too late to say it's a new year, but I will mention how the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013 was stressful for me. I was not sure what I was gonna do this year and everything just looked blurry. I prayed, lost hope, prayed some more, tried everything else I  I could use to see how my life would be and to prevent it from being bad. It's not easy to leave university and establish an new path especially if you have not planned for it.

My worries and attempts were put to rest when I got acceptance for a postgraduate degree. Now my life developed a twist, this is post-apartheid South Africa. Now I am even more convinced that the segregation was really bad. Can you guess where I moved to? Stellenbosch! The atmosphere here is completely different, the segregation results are still here. It is very clear where the black people, the white and the colored live and finding a place is quite hard in the suburbs when you are my race, unless you go through an agent who might just speak in Afrikaans with her colleague about her doubts that you may not afford the place. How can I blame her when it is so clear where who stays and when the complex that I am moving into is 99% white and only the security guard is of my  race.

Its quite challenging for me to stay in a place like this, even in the university I am an extreme minority. I have two good supervisors for my MSc and that makes me happy, I could not have got such good support from my beloved and horribly missed former university. I am making new friends slowly, the ones I have made seem not to fit into my pockets, I think if I invite them to my flat, they will wait till I call to tell me that they won't make it, and yes I have been through that a lot this year already.

It is very clear that growing up is a milestone, you realise new things and how to only trust your own. I learnt that good friends are really hard to find, and the people that I sometimes take for granted are the ones that can actually  bend backward for me.Some people are really here for the taking, if you don't give what they want they move to where they can get what they want. So at the end its not a loss. It is just a mismatch of interests.

The good thing is I am more knowledgeable and stronger than I was before. Better days will follow as long as I stick to my new path. To a great time in Stellenbosch! A great miss to Cape Town:(