Being an assertive person

Some people think she is  talkative and some think she is shy. She  thinks they are both probably right depending on how much they talk and how much they know her or the kind of relationship she is  prepared  to have with them.  She usually shies away from stating her demands to some people and asserting her standards. This makes make her a kind of passive aggressive person. She tends to be rude and snap at wrong times because she bottles so much anger and do things she is  uncomfortable with. She is a walk over and she resents it.

This kind of behaviour makes an individual bitter and sets one up for a mediocre life. How can one lead a people if one cannot state one's standards? It is a duty upon us to be assertive.  To calmly and boldly say NO when we do not want to and do what we want or negotiate a compromise. Being a complete push over is a way of robbing oneself of one's own magnificence. Look at this example : Tlou gets to an event, finds a comfortable seat and hangs her coat there, then she goes to fetch some savories. When she returns a gigantic old lady has taken the seat and hung the coat on a chair under the dark projector shadow. What must she do? I bet you thought "tell her to move."

 I think sometimes our culture may make it hard to state what we want, if you are of the Pedi people, you know you will not talk back to any elder, if an elder says jump - you say how high. That is a code we live by and  it shows appreciation and respect for our elders. It supports and makes life comfortable for them.

I thik in life we assume different roles, as a woman, one is a mother, a teacher, a wife , a lawyer, a cleaner,a nurse, a daughter and a boss. Each of these roles demands different aspects of  behavior. The secret is to know where you are and behave accordingly.  Some situations may scare us away, but if more often than not we do that which is of our own interest and assert what we want , then we are better than mediocrity. Small baby steps can lead to a new confident individual with time.

Below are some benefits and steps for being assertive  

Benefits:

• Less stress
• More confident.
• Less resentful.
• A pleasure to be around.

How to be assertive:

• Set boundaries.
• Take responsibility for your own problems.
• Realize that you cannot control how other people behave.
• Start small.
• Say NO.
• Be simple and direct.
• DO NOT JUSTIFY YOUR OPINION.
• Rehearse.
• Be persistent.
• Stay cool.
• Pick your battles.

Be prepared for resistance from those who are used to you as a push over. It will take some time, hang in there and you will get used to the better you with them, if they don't like it they can go find a new doormat. 

Read more here: The art of Manliness.

To being happier and being the best *****